Stan's World - Mattering

Stanley F. Ehrlich |

I’ve enjoyed a luxury that’s not available to most retirees: the chance to ease into my retirement. I’ve been able to work a little, ‘retire’ a little, and so on and so forth. 

As I continue to cross a very wide threshold into full-time retirement, I’ve come to realize it’s up to each of us to figure out how we’re going to retire. I haven’t mastered, for example, how to leisurely sit on my porch and read a book. I suspect my blood pressure probably goes up when I do so, because, at least subconsciously, my brain is trying to figure out what else I should be doing. I can enjoy leisure reading while away on vacation, but that’s because the operative word is away. While I’m away, I don’t have the ability to walk into my garage, go down to the basement, or sit at my desk and figure out what’s next. 

That’s my problem; I know many people who are not only content to read a book during the day, but also ecstatic. They worked for a lifetime, and now it is their time to collect dividends on that investment. 

The Wall Street Journal recently had an article about ‘The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering.’1 The article states that: “Many of us plan for our future wealth and health. Few prepare for an equally essential aspect of retirement: how to contribute to feel seen and valued.” To which I reply: not so fast. 

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past few years as it relates to this retirement gig, and what I’ve learned is that it’s up to each of us to figure it out. I’m sure I mentioned earlier that when Pearl retired, I asked her the same question I always asked pre-retirement clients: “I know what you’re not going to do, but what are you going to do?” She told me not to treat her like a client and that she would figure it out. (Note to self: She did.)

Some seniors find fulfillment in their hobbies, such as sitting on a porch to read a book or gardening. Others act as caretakers for a family member. Then there are those who enjoy volunteering, such as in a food pantry or soup kitchen. Some work part-time jobs or babysit for a grandchild. What it comes to mattering, it’s an individual decision and a personal choice. Mattering is only a crisis if we want to matter but can’t figure out how. 

What I would reaffirm to my fellow retirees is the importance of socializing. The literature is filled with articles and studies on the benefits of being with others. 

As for me, I’m still figuring things out, and that’s okay. Retirement is a process, not a one-time event. 

When it comes to my latest attempt at mattering, let me share with you a story about something called Swedish death cleaning.  You may recall reading my last Stan’s World column, the one where I committed to cleaning out my basement of ‘stuff.’ Well, it wasn’t just some fluff piece to fill space. I’m on it. (By the way, Swedish death cleaning is a real thing. According to Wikipedia: “Swedish death cleaning (döstädning) is an intentional decluttering process aimed at simplifying your life and sparing loved ones the burden of sorting through your belongings after you pass away. It is a thoughtful, life-affirming practice of letting go, rather than a morbid or sad task.”)

In the previous column, I talked about a four-drawer file cabinet in the basement that was filled with much of the detritus I had accumulated over a lifetime. (Some of us are better than others when it comes to weeding out extraneous files, papers, and things. As evidenced by what I’ve uncovered over the past month or so, I’m not one of the better ones.) On the plus side, the cabinet is filled no more. In fact, I think it’s down to one full drawer, and that’s the next one to get attacked. 

So where did all my ‘stuff’ go? My collection of tax returns and related documentation was all scanned. Should I get audited, I have everything I previously kept in folders digitized now. 

In addition, each of my daughters is getting a stack, and I mean a stack, of their ‘stuff.’ (They don’t know yet it’s their stuff.) What did I keep for each of them? What didn’t I keep? I noticed lots of grade school report cards (because they’re important 40 years later), letters to the tooth fairy (equally important), and all sorts of drawings, letters, transcripts, and more. 

Separately, and going to my daughters, are boxes of their photo albums, accumulated during high school, college, or summer vacations. If they want to dispose of any or all of it, they’re welcome to do so, but it’s leaving this house. 

Not only is the file cabinet about to take a journey to the conservation center (aka scrap metal), a five-shelf storage unit that held boxes is also about to get rehoused to make room for…nothing! Open space in the basement!

There are still a few toys that are now too young for even our youngest grandchild to enjoy. To wit, a combination toy stove/sink found its way to the end of the driveway the other day, and Pearl said soon thereafter a mother, grandmother, and daughter gave it (and all that was inside it) a new home. Enjoy! 

Suffice it to say, the difference in the garage and in the basement is visible. I’m not alleging the work is over, but I can state the process is psychologically freeing. Every day I look for more to jettison. (I even got to the Obama-era eye drops in the bathroom vanity.) 

The photos I’ve uncovered evoke many memories, joy, and laughs. And there are many questions. (“Who’s that??”) It’s amazing what we relegate to boxes, folders, and envelopes. Yes, pictures should be preserved, but they also should be displayed and enjoyed. And once we figure out who some of these people are, it will be time for some new wall displays. 

 

1 Breheny Wallace, Jennifer. “The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering.” The Wall Street Journal, 16 Jan. 2026. 

 

 

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